The Cruiser

I have been pining away for some time for an old-school beach cruiser bike. I love the idea of having a big wire basket in the front and maybe one on the back with which to carry groceries or bouquets of fresh flowers! I love their clunky styling and the aura of carefree trips to sun-drenched parks for afternoons of lolly-gagging and mischief they carry with them...hey, we're day dreaming here people! So, I went on craigslist last week, as I often do when I am bored, and saw this beauty of a cruiser and decided its new home just HAD be with me.

Now I am NOT a spontaneous buyer of 'things'. I believe in simplicity and not having more 'stuff'' than one knows what to do with...or has time to adequately put to use, so, it is quite un-me to have bought the bike in the first place...but, honestly, most of the reason I wanted it had to do with its posting on craigslist. I got a good laugh out of it and decided that anything worth spending this much eloquent writing on and with such a hilarious backstory...just had to be mine! After all, the 'stuff' I do have all carries with it some story or history that endears me to it.

So, I will share the posting with you. I must warn you...this posting is rated M for mature, not all content is suitable for young children. Please be advised...

The beginning of the post is rather ordinary with the specs of the bike, condition, asking price and a phone number the seller can be reached at. The real meat of the posting is the second paragraph which is reproduced here verbatim:

"Now for its tale o' intrigue: this bike belonged to an ex-roomate of mine who left it behind when she had to leave town in a hurry. Why so hurried she left a fancy bike, you ask? Well, because she slept with my boyfriend so the bitch got kicked out of the house and is now back in Tennessee where I last heard she was arrested for drunk driving. But her skanky, pathetic misfortune can be to your advantage. Help me get rid of the last vestige of the slut by buying yourself a shiny new bike!"

How could I not indulge myself in this soap opera-esque drama? It HAD to be mine! So, now I proudly ride my ex-skanky bitch beach cruiser and it makes me smile to know it has some skeletons in its closet...just like it's 'lover-of-things-with-stories' rider. And a good story it is...